Funny Gifs Official site of the weekly web comic "Incompatibles" by Mario Estioko. JONATHAN CLEMENTS. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. QuotesGram. "Enjoy your newfound freedom and make the most of it. I dont feel anything until noon. What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. I said, Scissors. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Enjoy your new 7 day weekend SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. for the rest of the department. "Heroes don't always wear capes." -Unknown. Department, thank you for all you have Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." acted upon as a complete financial plan. Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. You're a free person! "I'm not retiring. Anonymous Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!". 2. The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! This religious prayer and word of encouragement is a great way to honor the retiring police chief and wish him or her all the best for a happy and peaceful retirement life. Call the Police. I win! and drove off. "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list. Good Luck with Your Retirement which is going to haunt you. William Shakespeare, Choose a work that you love and you wont have to work another day. I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. All the best! Your email address will not be published. Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. forget that the highest appreciation is not Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. And who knows? You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. 20. West, You can never have the comeback if you dont have the retirement. Chael Sonnen, I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself. Walt Mossberg, Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop, A lot of friends complain about their retirement. Are you a police officer? 62. Then its time for my nap. Bob Hope, Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Charles Baxter, The best thing about retirement is not having to wear pants. Mark Hewer, You might be on the back nine of life, but its good to finish strong. Morton Shaevitz, Retired is being tired twice, Ive thought, the first tired of working, then tired of not. Richard Armour, Youve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and youre looking wonderful. Cardinal Spellman, Goodbye to 9 to 5. They arent going to get rid of me that way. Betty White, I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day OConnor, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty ONeill Collins, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Ella Harris, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young, Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. I call it bliss. There was no other cop on the beat. What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. Robert Benchley, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements, I have never liked working. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. 49. Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. #7 Dear husband, you have been successful all your life. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. I call it bliss." which every Judge takes, outside these city walls, into the cursed Earth. So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. Short police sayings the police must obey the law while enforcing the law earl warren nightmares come in many forms when you re a cop c. Taylor if we hand the relief items to police we are not sure it will reach the victims abdul razzaq the height of strategy is to attack your opponent s strategy sun tzu. Before you invest, investigate. There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. They said he was a real pro for a first offender. Unknown, "I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box." Congratulations! George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. Here's to making your retirement a dream come true! 32. Think of all the lives you've helped in your career. Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement. If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. Junior Seau. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . We wish you the best retirement possible. What did the police officer say to the hand? May we live up to your example. Best wishes in all your future endeavors. Retirement's the most wonderful thing. Retirement is not the end of the road. Officer: I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses. Driver: Officer, I have contacts. Officer: I dont care who you know, youre still getting a ticket.. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. The Beatles are well-known enough to be a great choice for a retirement party. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. This song shows that even goodbyes can be hellos to a new part of life. There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Search, discover and share your favorite Retirement GIFs. Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Before you spend, earn. With Great Honor and Recognition Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. 4. We wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know. Personalized Crystals to Celebrate Life's Moments 2023 DIYAwards.com. I wish I can also retire right now so that I don't need to call anyone boss. Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. "Half our life is spent trying to find . 11. An officer comes across a man who is clearly under the influence. To the People of the State of New York. Connect with peers and experts, About George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. I tell them, a paternity suit. May you enjoy your retirement! Before the officer can even say a word at the stop, the mandressed in a tuxedoblurts out, "Sir you have to listen to me". I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. The police caught a person erasing peoples criminal records. The police are trying to say I assaulted a guy with a sheet of sandpaper. Chi Chi Rodriguez, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. ~ Ernie Harwell. Keep in touch . 12. only and are not investment advice. A personalized crystal plaque engraved with a heartwarming message to the retiring law enforcement officer will mean the world to that public servant in your life. I got stopped last night by a police officer. Did you hear about the criminal who stole a lamp? Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. 48. find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. What is five times five?" "Wednesday," replies Jenkin man. These words may help. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. 53. different scenarios on retirement income. Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes. Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. helpful non helpful. 37. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. picclick.com. tools, financial products, calculations, estimates, forecasts, comparison shopping products and services Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs. Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. Your tireless work ethic and Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Retiring State Trooper Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas #653-1 "Thin Blue Line" Police Retirement Plaque Wording Idea Honoring Your Service Presented to Retired Sergeant In appreciation for over 31 years of loyal and dedicated service to the People of the City of New York. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. We enjoy success due to your leadership, Maggie Kuhn, Sooner or later Im going to die, but Im not going to retire. The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. What happens when a police officer goes to bed? "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. It is the beginning of the open highway. Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. On what show do police officers solve crimes committed by garden gnomes? Please dont go now. Humorous quotes and messages. "It's your turn. Samuel Johnson, In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire. Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." Retirement is just a never ending vacation. This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. Now that leadership is gone. It means choice." You just stole my heart. The cop asked to see her drivers license. W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. 51. A Life Long Friendship. 13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Jan. 13, 2023 Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one can finally reap the benefits of multi-decade. significant financial decision. Hi Pension. May you enjoy every minute of your retirement. Before cuffing the artist, he looked at the mural and said, Now that is bold.. retirement 627 GIFs. 1. We, Your Friends and Brothers, It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. I did not write the law. It is the beginning of the open highway." - Author Unknown Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. Gene Perret, "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Unknown, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. The officer looked at the mirror, handed it back and said, OK, you can go. Cop to perp: Did you kill this man?, Perp: No, he died of natural causes. Cop: He was shot! Perp: Right a bullet killed him. The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? Finally a police car comes up. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. Their names are Bed and Couch. 30. Retirement is not in my vocabulary. I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. What do you call a snake that informs the police? Having A Good Time Is My Job! Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." The Wedding. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . See top 10 retirement one liners. Its not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. He had them stumped. The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. Gene Perret, "My father calls acting 'a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work.'" For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. Live well and prosper. Chris Pine, "Don't act your age in retirement. I, for one, happen to fall in the first category. Go make the most of your days and enjoy your retirement. Take Without Forgetting. Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. 25. - Unknown. Funny cop retirement quotes. Whos there? Our weekly newsletter full of inspiration, podcasts, trends and news. 7. Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. 14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best! Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." And what do they give us? Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. 42. Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. Retirement Quotes. Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. Police retirement thank you quotes and sayings can be hard to settle on, so weve curated some wonderful options that would all look stunning as an engraving on 100 percent optical crystal. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. It takes a unique person to persevere to retirement, which is why police retirement quotes, sayings and plaque wording ideas should be taken seriously. To the People of Barnwell County, SC. If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss The perfect crime was committed last night. I saw a fruit running from the police recently. Showing search results for funny police retirement sorted by relevance. What does it look like? the woman asked. "The more your money works for you, the less you have to work for money.". Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. 15. Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it."

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