Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php The Question: Name three famous puppets. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? A: Lorne Green. Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. [1] A: Trapper John. Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? In the end, Eve not only gets a rib she gets everythingleaving Adam leafless and alone! Q: When is the next RTD bus scheduled to arrive? A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. A: Ironware. Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? CARNAC: May you be forced to visit a near-sighted In his final message, Carson choked back tears while thanking fans for their continual support. . (Crowd applauds) #10. We are now officially the living who envy the dead! Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" Q: Name three people who like to bomb. bathroom? The character was introduced in 1964. Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. A: "Rose Bowl." , What do diapers and politicians have in common? Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? Falling in Love Again (1980) with Susannah York, The Hollywood Knights (1980 . Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? The Johnny Carson Show. Q. [1] After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? by ThomasFay. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Carson . A: Last Tango in Paris. . Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? A: Rat pack. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Organized in groups of 10. A: Sha-na-na. [applause]. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? Q: Who ruined that darn rug? ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . Oh, I forgot! A: The Laughing Policeman. Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. Is that a reptile? ANSWER: Gatorade. Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. A: Lady-in-waiting. A: Eight is enough. The character was introduced in 1964. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. Commissary. knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: Where should you address all your mail? Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. A: A full moon Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? A: Stick 'em up! Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. The segment included several running gags. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. Forum Novelties. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. , The Question: What is the longest sentence in the world? The character was introduced in 1964. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Fondue. A: Crabgrass. In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest doctors. Kitchy-Kitchy? A: Bible belt. Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. Thanksgiving? Q: What do you say when calling your quat? Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. . The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . A: Around the world in 80 days. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. Box 4, Folder 47. The answer was always an outrageous pun. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. car? Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. A: Never on Sunday. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. A: Shake and bake. The Question: Name six fictional T.V. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. CARNAC: May a crazed sultan force you into mouth-to-mouth Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Youre the straight man. Its hard to divine when you cant see. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. Q: What does a stupid altar boy do? A: The four musketeers. questions having never Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Q: Name three movements. . "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. . Shriver. The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. 2006 | CC. Line: 478 As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. NO ONE! Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! "Knickerbocker"Q. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? A: Dustin Hoffman. Get Image Page 1 of 4 May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? A: The CIA. A: Black feet. Along the theme of reverting curses, there is a fascinating mesorah (tradition) handed down from the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) that all the curses that mankind was cursed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, will be reverted and changed back to normal at the end of time, except for the curse of the Serpent, who represents the evil force of Amalek, and whose curse shall remain in place until his utter and total destruction. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? The Answer: Become a professional politician. Show"? your only sister. Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Similar Items. The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? A: Once is not enough. May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. A: The ZIP Code. Murine? Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. . 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? A: Beethoven's Fifth. Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. , The Question: Who is the biggest conservative in the Republican Party? One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. parents. Zippo? A: Chariots of the Gods. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Screenkey. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? A: O'Hare. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Carnac The Magnificent undated. compartment in your sister. A: Quarter Pounder. A: Planter's Punch. CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. A: 50 miles per hour. A: "Oh God!" A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? A: All the President's men. A: Disjoint. A: The 11th Hour. A: De-frost. Q: Name two words that have no meaning. Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? by BMcCJ. If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist").

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